Motherhood

Oh my word! Can I believe my eyes...I am actually typing. Have not been able to write a thing on this blog for ages.
Well, seize the day!
Thandi has been with us for 2 and a half months.
She is getting cuter by the second at this point and already it all seems worthwhile.
I'm almost 5 months pregnant (baby due early February 2008). I look and feel very pregnant. Sometimes I love it, but sometimes the aches and pains get in the way.
It's spring!
Honestly we didn't have much of a winter, but still, I love the coming of summer and here we are on the beach for crying out loud. So lucky! Thandi and I walked on the boardwalk and up over the dunes yesterday spotting fabulous birds in the bush. Amazing.
My life has changed BIG time. I'm getting into the groove though. I've accepted that I will never ever again have a shower without hearing the baby cry. It's this bizarre psychic thing that babies have -- if mom has finally found a moment to bathe/lie down/eat...uh-uh, forget about it. At first I really struggled with being 'on duty' 24/7. When J got home in the evenings I handed Thandi over and retreated into the bedroom for some me-time. I felt angry. Impatient. Tired. I think that being in the throes of first trimester pregnancy didn't help at all!
By 2 months Thandi became more a delight than hard work. The smiles...oh those precious smiles. They really do make it all worth while. It's doesn't hurt that she is the sweetest thing and has been sleeping through the night every night from 2 months. We've had a bit of a battle with her skin and think it's an allergy to formula (I spit the word!). We're trying a frightfully expensive imported German goat's milk one now in combination with homeopathy and gemotherapy. We shall see....
Looking forward to our trip to Pretoria next week. It was so wonderful when we went up for Thandi's Naming Ceremony. Everyone really took her into their hearts and we were deeply moved. It's also incredibly wonderful to have a few extra helping hands. At this point it's just me and her and J after hours.
Last night she was snuggling on my big baby bump, ear to belly, when suddenly she smiled a secret smile. I think she and her sibling are colluding already!

I have not forgotten about my blog, I just can't manage to do anything...except this title?! Visit me on Facebook!

Babymoon

Not unlike a honeymoon really --- the world drops away to the exclusion of one other. And it's not all wine and roses as you come to the deep realisation that this other is forever. Oh my word, you know how people are always saying 'children are hard work.' It's true! Every 2 to 3 hours she needs to be fed, burped and changed. Easy to say, not so easy to do. She has a great appetite but is really gassy, so burping is essential and very time consuming. I already feel like I'm changed more nappies than is humanly possible. There's one other thing: babies cry. Duh. They REALLY cry. And it can make you feel desperate. I always thought people overreacted to their crying babies. That's because their babies weren't mine. It's a fact that blood pressure rises in the presence of a crying baby. It's also true that you'll do anything to make it stop. Which may include throwing all your carefully considered principles to the wind. Eg. I am now the world's foremost lover of the dummy. Sometimes it's the only thing to help you get through the night.
So, basically I'm more grateful for J than I've ever been, I call on all angels and powers that be frequently and I feel like a solid 8 hour sleep will never ever come my way again.
All advice and prayers gratefully accepted.

Newborn Parents

Yesterday was amazing. After meeting our social worker at the court and rustling someone up to place the baby with us (she's not legally adopted...yet), which was no mean feat since the woman who was supposed to do the deed was outside toi-toing, we whizzed off to the hospital, dressed her up and brought her home.
It was wonderful!!!! She slept snugly in her car seat the whole way and settled right in to life by the sea. I think the massive white noise generator outside (aka the ocean) lulled her into a solid and lengthy afternoon nap. We are pleased as punch having her home. She's really good and sweet. She went to sleep at 9:30 last night and only woke up twice before 7 this morning. Nevertheless, I'm so tired. The emotional taking its toll on the physical no doubt.
J and her are napping now.
My turn next.
Thank goodness J has taken a week off and can help me get into the groove of babycare.
Sjoe. It's a big job people.
But absolutely wonderful :)

PS> Photos posted on Facebook

She's coming home!!!!!

I am exhausted... I must be a new mom or something!
I've been camping out at Frere Hospital since Friday. There are a few premies in incubators and newborns in the ward. It's been amazing getting to know our girl. She's really blossoming under all the love and attention we're showering on her. She smiled at J yesterday and I was a teensy bit jealous until she laughed for me a couple of minutes later! The pic shows us in our favourite position. It absolutely melts my heart when she snuggles up to me like this. It is quite simply the best feeling in the world.
Of course it hasn't all been warm fuzzies. She got diarrhea on Saturday and I've been sooooo worried. I suppose that feeling won't subside for the next 18 or more years, so I'd better get used to it!
When I'm not attending to her, I comfort the other babies. They see their mom's every 3 hours for feeding. Except for a little boy who was born yesterday and is also up for adoption. He's 24 hours old and weighs a lot more than our little not quite 3 week old doll. She really is tiny. Not 3 kgs yet! To give the non-parents or non-metric-parents out there an idea of what that means...average birth weight is 3 kgs. So she's really tiny. A nurse told me today: 'She's tiny and cute, like you!' Nurses have said a lot to me these past few days -- everything from 'you're spoiling her' (this because she was crying with a nappy full of diarrhea when I came in one afternoon -- I was really upset) to 'she knows someone's there for her now.' I prefer to believe the latter and can't wait to bring her home and SPOIL her rotten!
The doc gave the all clear today and tomorrow we have a court date and then......then she comes home. This makes me happier than anything ever has and more overwhelmed than I knew it was possible to feel.
The adventure begins.

PS> She has no name. Help! We need suggestions please. Xhosa preferably. So far I've just been calling her Angel.

LOVE

We were so nervous as we approached her crib at the hospital yesterday...until we laid eyes on her. She is pure heaven. We just stroked her and couldn't take our teary eyes off of her. We told the social worker that we wanted to take her home... NOW.
Unfortunately there's a massive strike on the go in South Africa, which means that there's no birth certificate yet and the Department of Home Affairs won't issue any. That's the first hiccup. Once we have proof that she was indeed born on the 6th of June at 4pm, our social worker can then take her case to court. We've asked to be a Place of Safety for her, since that's a much speedier process than full out adoption. The social worker has to try and track down the birth mother and get her to sign the official papers, even though she clearly stated that she wants the baby put up for adoption. There is then a 60 day period in which the mother can change her mind. We are also still waiting for all her test results, though a healthier looking baby I never did see.
I spent all night dreaming about her and all morning holding her and getting to understand her language. So far there seem to be only 2 things she sees fit to communicate: my nappy needs to be changed and I'm hungry.
She is so lovely.
Can't wait to go back.
J and I will bath her this evening.

HOPE

After e-mailing and phoning every home for abandoned and orphaned babies in the area and further afield, I realised that J and I might be waiting for longer than the stats make it seem possible for our baby girl. Until 5 minutes ago.
To say that I'm bursting with joy and excitement doesn't even come close.
Nothing's for certain yet, but there's a 2 week old baby girl abandoned at a local hospital.
We'll meet her tomorrow.
:) :) :)